You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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