It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize