Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
