alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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