# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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