Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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