1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
