she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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