Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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