That's intense
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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