hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
