you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
