Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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