ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
