They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
