bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
