Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
