So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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