I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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