There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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