I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
