ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
