She announced her abortion via fbk
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
