i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize