who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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