Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize