who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
