one might say we're banned from that church
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
