I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
