I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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