Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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