Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
