I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
