You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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