well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
