he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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