don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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