just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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