There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
