So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize