is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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