I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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