So drunk its hurt
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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