ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
