ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this boner is exhausting
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
