I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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