fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
