New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize