Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
