My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize