drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
this will be a night to untag.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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