the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
