those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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