Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She's like a pop up book from hell.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
