So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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