i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
