He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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