how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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