I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soap is not a condiment
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
