if you like me you must not know who I am
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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