cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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