you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
