We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
